Komagoro's Soul
by Ran Mouri
Summary: The story of how Ryuichi met Komagoro and found his muse, I know this has been done a lot before but please give it a try! *a little Yaoi*


A/N: I know I promised myself I wouldn't write gravitation fics anymore until I really had a hit that would explore to the bottom. but here I am again writing this smaller fics that get me in troubles and angst. *sighs* pity this author prey of her own muses.  
  
Anyway, I know this idea is really overdone, and I would not be surprised if this VERY SAME IDEA was done before, but *shrugs* I'm going to try and explain where Ryuichi got his Komagoro .  
  
As always I hope you like this fic and please send me reviews to fuel my "Inspiration." Yeah right.  
  
Wee long note.  
  
Komagoro's soul. By Ran Mouri.  
  
The car was speeding madly over the streets of Tokyo, both, driver and passenger were worried over the matter if they would get to their destination in time or maybe the worst would happen before they even got an explanation.  
  
The only person calm in the expensive red jaguar was the brown haired man sitting in the back, looking directly at the passing streetlights that ran over his window as the blonde drove past them.  
  
Komagoro was resting lazily in his hands, snuggling ever so often in his lap for more comfort.  
  
In the dim light of Tokyo the toy almost seemed new, his pink fur colorful and shiny and his black dot eyes reflected life and happiness.  
  
It brought so many memories back.  
  
Forcing the thirty year old singer to close his eyes and lay his head back. remembering that faithful day his inspiration and this very same toy had made their way into his life.  
  
***  
  
The day was sunny and the bird were chirping.  
  
How cliché.  
  
It didn't help him one bit.  
  
Ryuichi Sakuma walked around Tokyo with gloomy thoughts and a frown on his handsome face.  
  
Tohma had told him to write a song for their new singles and he felt incredibly enough.. in a damn slump. HIM!! Sakuma Ryuichi!!! Vocalist of Nittle Grasper!!! With lack of inspiration.  
  
Someone up there in heavens really should hate him, he thought.  
  
Noriko had suggested a walk around in such a wonderful day would help him get over it. maybe find the words while staring at the beauty around him, maybe looking at all the cute girls in school uniforms and the such.  
  
Yeah right.  
  
As if it was a secret to his band mates he was homosexual.  
  
His steps took him to a nearby park where said schoolgirls looked at him and giggled stupidly and children ran minding their own problems, parents staring at them in case anything happened to their beloved sons and daughters.  
  
He wondered idly if things would be like that or himself if his parents had cared like that for him.  
  
He couldn't imagine tho, that was the life of an unloved child like himself.  
  
Sure, he had his adoring fans that promised their love and devotion to him in everyone of his concerts, but he knew none of them were the same. they only knew the Ryuichi up there in stage, singing to them like a god giving mercies to his faithful followers, none of them cared about the man he was down there, breathing and feeling along the commoners like themselves.  
  
'Stop it!' he cried mentally to himself. it was bad enough that he felt alone, now that he needed to feel good this thoughts wouldn't help him.  
  
"TAG! YOU ARE IT!!" Young voices cried happily as a group of children ran past him, a child running behind them while laughing.  
  
How noisy.  
  
He sighed and sat on a secluded bench. His notebook in hand and a pen perched carelessly on his ear. looking around he concluded he had managed to find a good spot to hide himself. His bench was hidden behind tall sakura trees and a pond, tall bushes hiding the beautiful sight from noisy children and destructive, hormone-ridden teenagers.  
  
Perfect!  
  
He opened his notebook and began to write.  
  
Would you know. Would you really know if I feel right now? Would you weep and cry like I want you to?  
  
He frowned at this.  
  
"No sad song." Tohma had sighed and patted his shoulder before he left the studio. Argumenting that they needed a song that melted people hearts with happiness and love for their new hit. And all the sad, dark songs Ryuichi kept hidden in his room wouldn't work for that purpose.  
  
He ripped the sheep off.  
  
He prepared to star again when his eyes caught a flash of red.  
  
Fly me to the moon And let me play among the stars Let me see what spring Is like on Jupiter and Mars.  
  
In other words.. Hold my hand. In other words. Darling kiss me.  
  
His blue eyes turned sharply at that voice, so small and quiet, so full of energy at the same time. he had never heard something like that, not even when he was younger and was with Tohma making the auditions for the battle of bands. long before they became a success.  
  
His eyes finally landed on a child hidden behind some bushes, eyes closed and a small smile on his round face, his was dressed with faded jeans and a black t-shirt that had "Cutely dangerous." Written with pink letters.  
  
Also a pink toy on his lap, small hands were playing happily with its long ears.  
  
Fill my heart with songs And let me sing forever more You are all I long for All I worship and adore.  
  
The sight was so breathtakingly beautiful. if the child had been older Ryuichi knew he would have fallen in love completely. But him been the responsible grown-up he was, he knew that this kind of feelings would be corrupted and wrong.  
  
So he smashed the surge of warmth in his chest and walked as quietly to the child.  
  
In other words. Please be true. In other words. I love you..  
  
Apparently he wasn't quiet enough for the child stopped and turned to him, huge red eyes staring at him as if trying to pierce him.  
  
Ryuichi stilled with he saw that small, potty mouth open, ready to be reprimanded or recognized.  
  
"Zaphikel? Is that you?" The child asked, making Ryuichi blink. Zaphi-who?? He neared the little figure again, and frowned when he noticed those eyes had not moved from where they had stopped first, as if the child hadn't really seen him.  
  
"Zaphi?" The voice asked again. turning his head and cupping his ear to gather more sounds. "Do you see Zaphi, Usako?" He whispered, touching the bell the toy had around its neck and making it sound softly.  
  
Ryuichi's eyes widened.  
  
This kid was. blind?  
  
He looked around frantically, looking for the worried grown ups who would be surely watching over their child, but found none.  
  
He frowned.  
  
"Sorry if I startled you." He said softly, making the child blink at him.  
  
"Don't worry. I just thought Zaphi wanted to play hide and seek again." A huge smile lit that face and a small hand patted the spot besides his body, motioning for the singer to sit closer.  
  
Not knowing why Ryuichi complied.  
  
"What's your name mister?" Blue eyes blinked. He couldn't tell the kid who he was for it would send the schoolgirls around them into a frenzy, not healthy at all. he knew that even if he whispered his identity, those annoying teens had a radar and would surely hear him.  
  
"I can't. sorry. What's yours?" The child smiled happily and took his hand, a mock scowl making its way into that round face.  
  
"That's not fair."  
  
"Life's never fair." The kid frowned at this.  
  
"I can make it fair. you make up a name for me and I'll make one for you." Blood-Red eyes stared past him in an unnerving way  
  
"Ok.... you'll be Euterpe(1)... Eu-chan in short."  
  
"Sounds funny. ok!" The kid giggled and reached with a pale hand for his face, feeling it softly. "Hmmm then you'll be. Komagoro!" He beamed finally. Ryuichi raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Komagoro?" he repeated.  
  
"yup!" The sole happiness on the child's face relaxed the young man somehow. it was contagious somehow.  
  
He smiled.  
  
"Ok then.. what do you want to do Eu-chan?" He asked while ruffling the child's hair.  
  
In response a loud whistle was heard, almost piercing his sensitive musician ears in the process. he was about to glare at the boy and demand what had been all that about when a HUGE German sheeper made its way to where they were sitting.  
  
"Zaphi!" 'Eu-chan' giggled hugging in by its neck and reaching blindly for the harness the dog had around its enormous back. "Zaphi, this is Komagoro.. Komagoro-chan, this is my Zaphikel." And finally standing and turning to stare into Ryuichi's blue eyes he reached and touched his forehead.  
  
"Tag!" he beamed and ran, the huge dog helping the kid find his way without bumping into anything.  
  
The singer stood there dumbfounded, did he kid want to play.. Tag? With HIM!? He surely wouldn't. he was seventeen by now after all. he couldn't possibly play like a little child where everyone would see him and laugh at him like he was some king of lunatic.  
  
From a little distance he could see his little Eu-chan laughing happily and trying to hear his steps nearing him.  
  
He sighed.  
  
How could he deny his muse anything?  
  
With a loud cry he chased the elusive boy who. surprisingly enough the child ducked and evaded his advance really well. if it wasn't for the hand gripping tightly the dog's collar and the dogs faithfully watching of him. no one could be able to tell such a happy boy was deprived of the beautiful sigh of colors and light.  
  
And so.  
  
For over five hours man and child played in the crowded park. sometimes running. some times eating delicious ice cream and then sometimes just talking about life in general. Eu-chan had told Ryuichi all about his life. the way his parents had bought Zaphikel after the car accident that had deprived him of his sight at the age of two and how he had come to be named after an archangel Eu-chan really didn't remember which. He just liked the name.  
  
"You don't remember how colors were or something like that?" Ryuichi had asked sadly. Eu-chan had shook his head.  
  
"But I will see colors soon!" He had assured the sad young man. "Mommy said a nice doctor is going to operate me and I'll see color again. I just need a new cornea.. whatever that is!!" He giggled.  
  
Ryuichi smiled at him , caressing his long black hair, a kid like him was such a rare finding. so amazing was his strength and courage. even the dog distrusted him more than the child. which was not so much...  
  
"What about you Komagoro-chan? Why are you so sad?" Eu-chan asked suddenly. Ryuichi blinked and sighed. Why not? It wasn't as if Eu-chan would tell anyone.  
  
He started talking about his life as a prodigal.. how he always had to be calm and collected for the press' sake and how his parents practically exploited him until he was old enough to work by himself. of course he told him about his band and the near deadline he had to write his song which had to be anything but sad song which was what he wrote better.  
  
Eu-chan blinked for a few moments.  
  
"What about love?" He asked. "Mommy listen to a lot of love songs and she likes them! Maybe if you write about someone you really really love you'll make a good song!" He smiled placing a small hand on Ryuichi's chest, looking from his heart beat. "Mommy says that the best songs are the ones that come from the heart and not from the mind."  
  
It was so obvious that Ryuichi felt ashamed of not having thought about it himself. felt like a whole set of light bulbs had been set on over his head.  
  
Taking his notebook quickly he began to write. as if possessed even.  
  
From far away, let your eyes shine; those who have awakened are still waiting. Seduce the ramparts of the night in the cast-off pile of skins left by things that now live elsewhere.  
  
(without an exit) if you intend to survive the impact  
(to the point where you fall apart) enrapture the deceits  
  
You who have been reborn, color your eyes without smiling alone. Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly burned to ash, in some miracle we could still brush into each other.  
  
Be exposed in a state of purity like a flower whose petals have fallen. You're just beginning to notice the days are shining jewels cupped in your hand.  
  
(A cold hand) gathers up the shed thorns, so  
(A banked flame) continues to smolder  
  
He stopped and gazed proudly at his handiwork.. quietly he read it to his little muse who nodded appreciatively once he was done. even repeating the words in a humming tone, giving them music.  
  
"Whoa!! You must really love that person you are writing about Komagoro- chan!" He awed happy that his new friend was able to overcome his problem.  
  
Ryuichi shook his head and sighed. No one would ever imagine he had written this song for a little kid that hardly reached his waist. maybe it was a mix of his desires for the future with this child and the way he saw him right now. imagining him with his eyes so clear and pure and his wide smile.  
  
He was about to tell Eu-chan so when cold reality dashed into his hopes.  
  
"Honey! It's time to go home!!" A middle aged woman had shouted, whistling a little. "Zaphikel!! Bring my baby back!" She ordered from the entrance of the park. Eu-chan turned on the direction of the woman and smiled.  
  
"Mommy!" He cried and got up. "I have to go Komagoro-san!" He beamed and reached to kiss lightly his cheek. "I had a great time and thanks for everything. I hope you make it into the biggest hits of all with your friends! You deserve it!!"  
  
Ryuichi felt desperation when his little muse started to walk away from him. His inspiration and warmth leaving with him.  
  
"Wait!" He managed to cry and stood up to follow him. Eu-chan turned to him and smiled, handing him his little pink bunny toy that had lost his bell sometime around their games.  
  
"Usako can make company to Komagoro so he always remembers that music ifs from the heart ne? I know you'll be the biggest in music." Without another word his beautiful Eu-chan ran to his mother. Both getting into a cab and disappearing around the city. never to be seen again.  
  
His only memory of the quick encounter was the pink bunny he now held in his arms. Usako. Full name: Euterpe Komagoro... Komagoro for the friends.  
  
His own childish dream of love and understanding.  
  
His muse.  
  
The abrupt stop from the car pulled him out of his musings, with a sigh he followed patiently his friends as they dashed the stairs of Tokyo's Magi Bus Hospital (2) and the three were greeted with the sight of a non-stop smoking blonde man, his golden eyes were reddish and puffed from crying.  
  
"Eiri-san!" Tohma of course paraded to his side immediately. A Look of total concern on his childish face.  
  
"I. I don't really know." The blonde novelist sighed, still in some kind of shock. "We had an argument. he was mad like always and then he started crying. obvious. but his tears were red. so very red. there was blood all over his face and. gods." Eiri's long hands were shaking, hardly lifting the cigarette to his lips to take a long drag.  
  
As he was about to keep explaining a doctor came from the room. Whipping sweat from his forehead and smiling happily at them all.  
  
"The bleeding stopped. It seems the mental stress Shindoh-san has been put through made his condition fall a little, we re-stitched everything and he'll be fine. though we had to give him a thorough wash and take off his. accessories." The doctor laughed.  
  
"Can we see him?" Hiro asked worriedly.  
  
"Sure!" The doctor smiled. "The nurse must be removing the bandages right now."  
  
Everyone barged into the room to see a now.. Black haired Shuichi sitting in a bed while a blushing nurse took off the bandages that covered his eyes.  
  
Tohma and Noriko blinked.  
  
"Your hair is. black?" The woman asked.  
  
"You really didn't think it was naturally pink right?" Hiro laughed. "good to see you nerdy back." He teased his best friend.  
  
"Mou! Hiro!!" Shuichi pouted trying t reach for his friend's voice.  
  
"Don't move Shindoh-san!!" The nurse complained removing the last bandages.  
  
"Sorry." He blushed. "Can I have my.."  
  
"No." The nurse scowled. "You have just been stitched in a very sensitive area young man."  
  
"But Yuki will see."  
  
"Well thought luck!" She stuck her tongue out to him and left the room. "The doctor will check on you soon. Complain to him about those stupid accessories of yours."  
  
Ryuichi blinked.  
  
Accessories? He looked over the bedside table and found two small blue things, transparent in way. They looked like.  
  
Lenses.  
  
He turned back to Shuichi when everyone gasped, finding himself staring at the most amazing red eyes once more.  
  
Of course..  
  
Red eyed plus blue lenses.  
  
Violet.  
  
"You are one really weird young man." K mussed as Shuichi's new look. Red yes, who would have thought.  
  
"The were brown I think. Don't remember really." The younger singer shrugged.  
  
Shuichi turned then to Ryuichi who was staring at him with wide, shocked eyes. His ruby eyes fell on Komagoro and he smiled happily.  
  
"Nice to see you too Komagoro!" He beamed.  
  
Ryuichi smiled lightly. Making everyone blink at his mature self.  
  
"Nice to see you too Euterpe-chan."  
  
Yuki Eiri frowned in jealousy as HIS boyfriend and the dumb grown kid that was Ryuichi Sakuma smiled secretly at each other. Their secret connection forever secret. just a pair of glassed plastic black eyes knew them from the long past, when there was no fame.  
  
Just the two of them..  
  
From his place on Ryuichi's arms Komagoro seemed to smile wider. Finally seeing his lovely owner's ruby red eyes staring back at him, seeing him from the very first time in recognition.  
  
Finally together again with his Shu-chan.  
  
Maybe even he could see Zaphikel again.  
  
OWARI.  
  
A/N: I hope you liked this fic. It took me a while to get the whole idea but I think I'm happy with the result.. please review me ne? So I know I did a good job.  
  
1.- Euterpe is the Greek muse of Poetry and Songs. 2.- Magic Bus Hospital is the same hospital where Fujimiya Aya from Weiss Kreuz is held during her Coma. It's the only name that came to my mind. 


End file.
